This month, Ben from Blaenavon runs the gauntlet of our random, stupid queries.
Hello. How are you?
A bit uptight. I shouted a bit earlier.
What have you been up to today?
Learning to play ‘Mr. Brightside’ on the guitar. It’s not too hard but it’s become obvious to me that the lead guitarist of ‘The Killers’ had a lengthy left hand.
What’s your biggest accomplishment?
I won an award at my secondary school prom. I think they gave me the wrong medal though. I was expecting ‘Most Likely To Be A Fucking Bossman’, but I was given ‘Facebook Addict’ instead.
What’s the best song you’ve written or played on?
I wrote a song called ‘Toothpick Baby Sick’ that hasn’t been released yet because apparently, the market for that type of music doesn’t exist in this universe, yet.
Reading or Leeds?
Banned from both.
How punk are you out of ten?
See above.
You have to support either U2 or Red Hot Chili Peppers on tour. Who do you pick?
Support Red Hot Chili Peppers, and U2 are first on, and The Edge borrows my amp, but he can’t get the tone quite shiny enough so he storms off and Bono has to convince him it’s okay and he comes back on, and it’s okay.
Who’s your favourite new band?
The Night Café are my favourite new band and favourite new friends.
What was the first record you bought?
I didn’t pay for it, but I remember being excited to keep the free CD you get for your car at Longleat Safari Park. It hasn’t aged amazingly but still got a lot of enjoyable listens out of it.
Who was your favourite musician or band when you were 14?
The Edge.
What did you have for breakfast?
Frank cooked me Egg Noodle.
What did you last dream about?
I dreamt that I lived in the X-Men universe and we were threatened by a fierce hurricane but my team and I kept ourselves locked in Professor X’s vibrant hostel and waited for it to blow over and it was ok.
What strength Nandos sauce do you order?
No more tears.
What was the last thing you broke?
THE NECK OF MY GUITAR!!!!!
What’s the most impressive thing you can cook?
Grilled cheese.
Have you ever won anything?
Bohunt School Maths Challenge 2010.
What is your earliest memory?
Erupting into this universe confused and alone.
If you could bring something extinct back to life, what would you choose?
Indie rock.
What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done?
Walked to school alone.
Do you believe in aliens?
Yes, they are living among us.
Have you got any secret tattoos?
I have the Converse logo tattooed on each ankle as I am official UK ambassador. Please read this and give me free Converse because mine have broken again.
If you won the lottery, what would you spend the cash on?
Gum.
Taken from the July issue of Dork – order your copy below.