This month, Will Joseph Cook runs the gauntlet of our random, stupid queries.
What have you been up to today?
I have been writing songs. DIDN’T SEE THAT ONE COMING DID YOU?????
What’s your favourite thing about being a musician?
I get to say things in songs that would be weird af to say in conversation.
What’s your biggest accomplishment?
Writing my album.
What did you last dream about?
I was buying loads of gifts for someone who doesn’t like me.
Which is your favourite member of One Direction?
Zayn.
What was the first record you bought?
It was a bunch of five. Vampire Weekend’s debut, MGMT’s ‘Oracular Spectacular’ and Calvin Harris’ ‘I Created Disco’, Florence and The Machine’s ‘Lungs’ and the Darwin Deez debut.
Who’s your favourite pop star?
I have a lot of time for Bruno Mars, liked the second album a lot. I think he’s a great writer.
What’s your favourite smell?
Rain on really dry, hot ground.
Which of your songs does your family like most?
I don’t think we’ve ever agreed on that.
What strength Nandos sauce do you order?
Hot.
What was your favourite subject at school?
Geography was a big hitter with me.
Who’s your favourite new band?
Okudaxij.
What was the last thing you broke?
A promise to my girlfriend that I would go vegan for a month.
What’s the most impressive thing you can cook?
I can make hollandaise sauce.
What is your earliest memory?
Being in a pram while it rained.
How punk are you out of ten?
If 0 is Theresa may running through fields of wheat, and ten is Mark E Smith punching through his parents’ drywall… I’d say I was about a 6.4.
What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done?
Acid.
Do you believe in aliens?
Yes, of course.
Have you got any secret tattoos?
Nope, I’m a clean sheet.
If you won the lottery, what would you spend the cash on?
I’d buy an obscene amount of fields all over the country and plant loads of mad forests.
Taken from the August issue of Dork – order your copy below.